Inspiration

I realized that being inspired from within is far better and preferable to being inspired from outside.

Often times, we like doing things because some one we admire executes something wonderfully - perhaps play an instrument to perfection, speak and motivate people, program well etc. I have been fortunate to have found myself among many talented people, and many of them I have wanted to emulate. I have learned so much from all of these people. But the most fulfillment I have felt is when I achieved something of my own accord - when I have inspired myself to do something. It is an irony that at the end of such an experience when I am able to express myself with clarity, I end up feeling that I couldn't have done it myself. I guess that is the beauty of it.

It is good to be inspired from people around us. But it'd be great if all of us can seek inspiration from within ourselves. It is in there - without doubt. And the best way to find it is to accept ourself for who we truly are - our strengths, our weaknesses, our imperfections, our guilt, our desires, and then, do the right things with a strong faith that it will find us.

Action speaks more

Gratitude and Love is expressed best by action than by words.

Accepting the full spectrum of human emotions

Swami's study circle yesterday on "Accepting the full spectrum of human emotions" was a very needed one because this was where I was heading to in the last few months without being able to word it correctly. This study circle seemed to put more pieces of the jigsaw puzzle in place.

All of us tend to accept positive emotions like love, faith, trust, joy but tend to not accept negative emotions like anger, fear, jealousy. This study circle was a persuasion to accept all emotions with equanimity. The most interesting questions for me were "What is the benefit of accepting all emotions?" and "What does accepting really mean? What should you do to accept an emotion?"

Here is my second take on these questions.

When we resist a negative emotion and avoid it, the we actually move away from the solution of the underlying problem to a greater extent than at the time when we first experienced the emotion. For example, when I am angry with someone because they insulted me, and as a result I try to avoid facing them or try to remember the incident because it makes me even more angrier, all I am doing is running away from the problem. The other option I often take is to drive the emotion away from me or keep it locked somewhere hidden, by performing acts of justifying the act, defending myself and rationalizing that I was right. Other times, I live through the emotion without really wanting it and this drains me to a great extent both physically and mentally.

What we run away from will eventually follow to haunt us some day. If we are ready for the pain we may face when the locked emotions resurface, we are free to use these paths.

The other approach is to accept these negative emotions. I am still seeking to clearly understand what the process of "accepting" the emotion really entails, but I guess it is about

- becoming aware that you are feeling painful emotions
- identifying the emotion that is causing the pain
- saying to myself that it is okay for me to feel this way (betrayed, angry, fearful, jealous etc.)

This is the toughest part because our natural instinct is to avoid these emotions and shove them away far enough that we don't see them ourselves at that time.

The next step then I guess, is to come face to face with it by asking oneself

- why I am feeling this way
- what do I really want for me and others
- what action can I take to create the result I seek

This process of questioning takes real guts because it makes us bring everything out to the table and reason objectively. It may reveal our own imperfections and invite us to take action about it.

Lot my thoughts on this topic have been influenced by this very nice book on Emotional Awareness. If this blog interests you, I highly recommend that you read the book.

Encouragement

It is so amazing to see how I thrive when I receive the proper encouragement and how disinterested I feel about things when I don't get the recognition.

I don't know if most people are like me, but I am sure many are. I need to be reassured that I am heading the right way. I need to know that people do think I am capable. This appreciation and recognition does a lot for my confidence.

However kiddish it may sound, people like me need it. It means a lot to us. Not sure if this is how I want it to be i.e. being driven by how others think of me, but I guess this is how I am right now.

Emotional Vocabulary

I think that it is important for us to be able to understand our emotions and express them effectively. Our relationships suffer if we are not able to communicate clearly to others what we exactly feel. We hide our emotions, we pretend it is not there, sometimes we really don't know it is there, sometimes we exaggerate it to others, we indirectly express it - we do all kinds of weird things that distances us from really understanding and becoming aware of what we feel.


Emotional literacy and emotional vocabulary is something that has started to get my attention lately. I want to find out how to pay attention to my feelings better, and be able to express them in a confident and clear way.

I just searched on Google and this was the first interesting link I hit. If you guys are aware of any other good reading on this topic, do drop me a note.

Responsibility

Last Thursday, I was having a conversation with a good friend about responsibility. I thought I should summarize my thoughts on this topic on my blog.

1. Responsibility is something that people have to choose to accept. It should not be forced upon them. It should come from within.

2. A person should assume responsibility only for what he believes he can control. There are things that happen beyond one's grasp and by assuming responsibility of those results, he is not helping himself. It is best recognize that results are beyond our capacity and make peace with the situation as it turns out to be. The act of accepting however, does not imply that the person does not care about the results.

3. Only the person assuming responsibility can make the true judgment of what he has control over and what he is capable of.

4. Neglecting responsibility when one really has the ability to make a difference is an opportunity lost. However, opportunities present themselves again for us to learn from them.

Rebirth

Teachers guide us to walk towards self-realization, so we will be relieved of these continued rebirths, and delusion of elation and dejection.

Here is another perspective. One birth doesn't seem enough for me to experience the magnificence of life. I don't seem to be able to consistently live those moments when I am able to "listen" to the music, "see" the beauty, "taste" the food, "smell" every breath, and "touch" feeling the life within. God, give me time and the energy to understand the abundance of your creation, even if it means dying to be born anew.

Giving together

It is not possible for a group to give together before they give to each other.

Changing Others

Is it possible to love a person without the slightest desire that he/she change?

Evolution of thought

I think our way of thinking evolves.

1. Ah! This is cool thing (s)he is doing.
2. I want to learn that.
3. I want to become an expert.
4. So I have gained reasonable expertise. Now what? Why did I do this in the first place?
5. How can I use what I have learned to solve a problem?
6. Ah! This is a problem worthwhile to solve because the solution will have a good impact.
7. Go to Step 2.

I am in the first iteration of this loop at step 4. I smell step 5.