Communicating our philosophy of leadership

While working in teams, I think it helps if every individual at some point clarify his or her philosophy of leadership to other members of the team who are in a similar growth path.

Different people have different definitions of leadership. Some would claim that authority on the field, skills, experience and capabilities make a person a capable leader. Others may claim that leader should not be assigned because different people emerge as leaders at different situations because not everyone can be a leader at every time. Some may say that leaders should have power and authority to command over the team they lead - and others may believe that leaders are on the same playing field, and that reason prevails over hierarchy. People have strong opinions about such topics because of their background and upbringing.

When people with different philosophies of leadership meet and work together without knowing each others approach to growth, their way of working collides and there is more room for conflicts. One person's assertive approach may appear rude to the other, and another person's modesty may appear as incapability. On the other hand, it helps if each person communicates his approach to leadership, and helps his team understand his way of handling things and his expectations from everyone else. Ideal would be for some person in the team with the "facilitator" role to create a forum for the team to share these thoughts and come to an understanding as to what would work best for the team as such. When employers are interviewing candidates or when anyone interviewing with a potential employer, it also helps to discuss this topic and evaluate if the environment and the candidate are a good match.

Sending the right message

Many times when I am not happy about someone's actions, I tend to associate the action with the person and send the message across that the action is more important to me than the person itself. That is something I need to change about myself.

I think all of us have to remind ourselves to address the action, and not the actor. If we comment about just the action, but still truly care for the person from the bottom of our hearts, we send the right message across: "I know you can do better!" Whereas if we make a conclusion about the person based on his action, then we are actually saying "You are no good. I don't want to trust you", and the next thing that we will see happen is losing their trust and confidence.

I was reading Stephen Covey's '8th Habit' and I found one of his tips to give sincere feedback helpful. He suggests that when we give feedback on a negative action, it is good to talk about ourself and how we internally feel about the action. This is what he calls the 'I messages'. The opposite is the 'You messages' - exactly the wrong thing to do.

You probably know how it feels when you have sent 'You messages' - miserable, after you realize that you just fed your ego.