Importance of a Well Rounded Education

In India, at least in the years that I went to college, a bachelors in Engineering or Technology was the way to go. Especially Computer Science. The only other option is Medicine. You are considered among the elite group if you got a seat at a good engineering college in a good major or if you are going to end up as a doctor. The rest, who choose the remaining opportunities in Commerce, Economics or Arts majors, unintentionally arrogant as I may sound, are not considered worthy enough. Kids reaching high school and doing their pre-university years are inculcated with the mindset that they need to find a seat in Engineering or Medicine, otherwise their lives will be wasted and unsuccessful. Such is the narrow mindset of the major populous. Education there is not chosen based on skills and personal fulfillment, but based on available opportunity. My main point I am trying to emphasize in this post is that the effect of this in the long run is not a well rounded society.

The ongoing recession has brought misery to several, but it has been a good thing in at least one way. It has instigated many including me to study in a deeper fashion the dynamics of the economy - at the micro as well as macro level. I have slowly begun to understand in a profound way the real meaning of capitalism. I am able to understand why and how stimulus money that the government is pouring into the system could improve the economy. I am not in anyway implying that I am in favor of capitalism or the decision to stimulate, but this has opened my eyes on how far reaching, economic decisions which our politicians make can be. And that understanding the cause and effects of different decisions is the real meaning of economics. I did not know this in school, not in my college years, and not even in my years of my graduate degree. Only when one weathers a significant storm does one try to understand what really went past.

This makes me understand the importance of the decision makers who assume the leadership roles of nations. They ought to know what they are doing. They need to be knowledgeable about the situation in order to make the right decisions. Their education should be broad enough to understand effects of their actions across industries, cultures, state and national boundaries, and across their domains of expertise.

Does India have such leaders? Just a handful perhaps. The education system which I mentioned above would not really produce such skills consistently. It actually creates people who live in their own little world, helplessly and totally disoriented when impacted by external factors, without the ability to decide what is good for themselves. They wait for situation around them to become better instead of knowing what they can do next to make things better.

What can benefit from a change is the well roundedness of education in India. Parents and teachers should teach children importance and value of various domains and industries and how individuals in different industries contribute the national economy. All professions and fields should be respected, more importantly appreciated. Once children are educated about how each profession adds value, they should be left to choose how they want to contribute and create value in whatever they do.

Although very slow, I think this is happening. India is crossing the point where more and more people are living for personal fulfillment than just to live, procreate and die. Professions are slowly being chosen more for how individuals can add value, than just for how well individuals can earn and survive.Ours is such a diverse country with various kinds of people, different cultures, different perspectives, different backgrounds, different talents, different weaknesses. No other country is as diverse realistically speaking. In my opinion, this is exactly what is needed to make a well rounded society. The ingredients are all there. It is just the effort that is needed - from everyone.

Marriage

Marriage is a sensitive topic. It is not easy to openly discuss such topics with anyone and everyone. When I was looking for a girl who I could live with, I found it hard to approach the project with the right mindset. I always wondered what I should ask, how I should describe myself, what I really wanted... There was fear and uncertainty. There were desires, likes and dislikes. The focus was a lot on myself - what I wanted, what I feared, how I should appear, what I deserved and so on. But it took a while for me to realize that marriage is not first about my needs, but about the other person's. I just thought I should help my fellow bachelors with my humble little tips gathered from my experience. Readers should remember that I am from an Indian background where dating is not a norm.

• Be yourself. Don't try to portray who you are not. Your wife is at least the one person who should know the real you.
• You could use daily activities as an ice breaker in conversations. It is easy to talk about what you did that day, what you will be doing, what you are doing etc. Small talk leads to interesting topics for discussion and tell a lot about people. Feel free to digress wildly.
• Have the right intentions. Do not go with the intention to win something. Do not go in with the fear of losing something. Go with the intention to be happy.
• Patience pays. Don't rush to reveal yourself, don't rush to find out about her. Act upon the situation. Let things flow. Wait for the right time to talk and to ask.
• Make room for questions - a lot of them. See if you can make questions a norm in your initial conversations. Give the other person total freedom to ask questions openly that will help her know you better. You could say "I had a whole list of questions for you. I am sure you would have them too. Feel free to ask if you remember any."
• Gather facts. Withhold judgment.
• If you are nervous, admit it. Nothing wrong in that. It will free you up (and the other person too) and help you be yourself again. You could say "Sorry, I haven't been in such a conversation before, and you are a new person to me. So I am a little nervous. So bear with me while I take sometime to open up and feel comfortable."
• Try to know why you want to marry. It helps if you understand what you are seeking in a marriage.
• Try to find out what makes you happy. Make a long list. Talk about it to the girl. Let her know what ways she can make you feel happy.
• Admit imperfections at the right time with sincerity. If you know things about you that irritate others, talk about it. Trust that the other person will appreciate your warning and take it at face value. There is nothing better than knowing that your wife still likes you despite your shortcomings.
• Don't expect perfection. Know that you will not find it. Recognize and accept imperfections of others. Treat people with dignity because no one can be perfect. Only if you can be tolerant of others' imperfections can you expect them to accept yours.
• Try to find out what makes her happy. Find out her likes and dislikes. See what you will be able to do to bring happiness into her life.
• Acknowledge what you like about her immediately. Don't wait to express happiness.
• Express your basic expectations up front. Try not to have a long list, and be open to possibilities. Don't rush to close doors - let them close themselves. Let your judgment be on the lines of "Do I have the ability to accept, tolerate and live with this in my marriage?" as opposed to a check or a cross mark in a checklist of desires.
• Express care. I think all people who marry, marry for this reason only. They want to be cared for. They want to be loved. Remember, marriage is not just about you.
• If you like the other person sincerely, but are not sure about how she feels, don't fear rejection and stop investing yourself. Only trust and faith can take you through.
• Matching value-systems of two people lead to better chances for a happy life. So seek for commonality more in fundamental belief systems than in daily interests.
• Make sure the girl really likes you for who you are before you decide to go for it.

Responsibility

Last Thursday, I was having a conversation with a good friend about responsibility. I thought I should summarize my thoughts on this topic on my blog.

1. Responsibility is something that people have to choose to accept. It should not be forced upon them. It should come from within.

2. A person should assume responsibility only for what he believes he can control. There are things that happen beyond one's grasp and by assuming responsibility of those results, he is not helping himself. It is best recognize that results are beyond our capacity and make peace with the situation as it turns out to be. The act of accepting however, does not imply that the person does not care about the results.

3. Only the person assuming responsibility can make the true judgment of what he has control over and what he is capable of.

4. Neglecting responsibility when one really has the ability to make a difference is an opportunity lost. However, opportunities present themselves again for us to learn from them.

Writing good essays

Over the last few years, I have come to realize that I need to significantly improve my writing skills. Many times, my essays intend to drive home a main point. But during the course of writing the essay, I present different ideas without really connecting them together and strengthening my point. During these times, it is likely that I will lose my reader.

An essay is not a bunch of random thoughts. If it is, then it does not serve its purpose - to convey to its readers a message. Writing an essay that is structured well requires that you understand the deeper meanings of cause and effect, fact and evidence, and open doors to thinking critically.

A good essay is a sequence of related thoughts that lead to something more substantial than the individual thoughts themselves. Each thought in that sequence must contribute to the main point of that essay. If it doesn't, the author should seriously consider removing it. In addition, these thoughts must be interconnected well so that they lead to the main objective message which should stand up crystal clear to the reader. If they are not connected well enough, the reader is not likely to understand the intention the isolated thoughts, hence resulting in a loss of communication. If you are intentionally going to digress from the main point of the essay, then it is better to convey to the reader how the digression is related to the main point, or at least, promise them that it will all make sense at the end. And of course, you need to keep it up. The bottom line is that the author should ensure that the readers do not forget the main point of the essay.

Action, Results and Happiness

The most famous message of the Gita often quoted as:

"Do your duty, do not expect the results of your actions."

...gives an impression that we are expected to be more or less robots on this earth just bothered about our duty and stay detached from the outcome. Let me rephrase it, and then its power becomes a little more clear:

"Do not rely on the results of what you do to be happy. Happiness is your birthright! Enjoy it whenever you want it by making your action as the reason for your happiness rather than its result!"

The Purpose of a Business

The purpose of a business should be to solve a common problem at hand. It should not create new desires and new problems.

This is not my philosophy speaking, but basic economics. For example, consider the automobile industry. The Toyotas and the Nissans and the Hondas solve the problem of a reliable, economic way of transportation to a very good extent. But I would not say the same with the Ferraris, Mercedes, or the Porsches. Do they solve any common problem? I don't think they do.

In fact, they add on to, or magnify the big pile of problems we already have to deal with - envy, discontentment, insecurity. The power of the human mind should be used to solve and eliminate existing problems that make life more meaningful. It is too valuable to be wasted in creating new problems for ourselves.